identity crisis

I'm currently grappling with a major identity crisis. I am filling out my bar application and I need to make a final decision of what I want my name to be. When I changed my name on my social security card, I kept my first, middle and last names and then just added Merino at the end. My bar application asks for: (Last Name, First Name, Middle Initial). And whatever you write on your bar application is what is going to be used on the state records. So what do I do? Do I hyphenate last names? Do I just get rid of everything and only use Natalia Merino? Do I abbreviate to Natalia B.M. Merino? Do I drop the B and use Natalia M. Merino? What this all boils down to is the fact that I've been a Martins for 25 years and I'm having a hard time letting go. If I get rid of the Martins, what does that leave me with? I still get called Ms. Martins at school because that is what everyone knows me by. If one of my professors would call "Ms. Merino" in class, I don't know if I would realize that they were talking to me. Ever since school started this year, I have been using both last names (without the hyphen) because I knew that I would eventually drop the Martins, but I wasn't quite ready to do it yet. But now I've kind of grown accustomed to writing Natalia Martins Merino on everything (I know it is a mouthful, but it is no worse than Kif Augustine-Adams). Decisions, decisions, decisions.